May 28 Daily Devotion - Look up from your failure, and you’ll find God standing ready to receive you.

Thank you for today's promised
Look up from your failure, and you’ll find God standing ready to receive you.

In Micah 7:9 said : He will bring me out into the light, I will see his righteousness
I thank you for the promised that Lord said will bring me out into the light. What a wonderful promised and hope that I can rely when Iam in the darkness.

Many times when I have encountered failure in my life, relationship with boy friend, colleague, friends, family and I always put the blame into myself.

Iam thankful when I walk with you Lord, you have let me know you're the Lord who bring me out from darkness, and bring me into the light.

What is this light mean to me ? A solution, release me from the painful feeling, self blaming, and give me an insight to know it has no value added to blame myself.
Shine upon the trick of satan from stealing my peace, joy, enjoy the fullness of Lord...

Like last night, when came back from work, dad said wt going to change a big car. Yeah, I said well, he supposed to change since he had 3 kids, and financially affordable. However, deep in my heart, I have go back to old time me, compared again. Huh, both of are going out to work similar at education and year of working, blah blah blah..How could he could has such huge gaining power, family...so on. 

Lord - I know this is not right to think so, as this will really make me fall into the trap of bitterness and do not trust in the Lord. I got to U-turn to the right directly, out from the self pity, comparison type of inner conversation.
I need you Lord to shine your light upon this area,especially to see people blessed than me. Lord, change my heart and thought, as this kind of thinking give me no benefit. Holy Spirit, renew my mind and heart, and help me to see Lord and give trust to Him more and more. 

Forgive me for I have not look up to you. For you are my provider, you will provide all I need. I might don't need a big car for time being. Lord know what I needed the most at this time. He want me focus and walk with him closely everyday. Let go my hand and follow His step. Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
 
I start to said¬ Lord I am thankful...
Though my car not big and new, but the car still good to carry me to any places without fail. 
Though my house do not big, but still have comfortable place to rest after tired from work. 
Though I am single, but I still have mum, dad, sis and min stay together with me, and we are happy to see each other everyday. 
Though my job do not have any title and high salary, but I have sufficient money to keep my daily life in sufficient condition, and not worry about I don't have job anymore, because I know Lord has give me assurance that he will  be my provider. When I open my heart, there are many opportunities Lord will place in my life. Favor and goodness will follow me. And important thing, I can go off on time and go to exercise, worship and prayer ... 

Lord, thank you for you have a marvelous plan in my life. Lord, open my heart and eye to see your work in my life.. Let me walk in the light.

In today reading reminded me again. We forget that Jesus has already done that on our behalf. He covered our shame, and He set us free to fellowship with God and serve Him daily. Because He gave His life, and rose from the dead, when we “fall,” we can “arise” with Him, for “He delights in mercy” (Micah 7:8,18).

The moment we find Jesus, our eternity with Him begins. He walks alongside us so He can change us into the people we long to be and were created to be.

Father, my actions aren’t adequate to fix my
failures. Thank You for doing that through
Your Son Jesus who gave Himself for us.
Help me to look up and walk with You.

安慰者

今天的灵修讲到安慰者。

说到，一个安慰者要有同理心。因为经历过，知道是什么样的感觉。这痛苦，挣扎，煎熬，内心的不安，失望，绝望，内疚，无力感都无法用话语一一形容出来。说出来人家也未必会懂。可能分分钟对方觉得不知所措。

我想，一年的时间对生命只有几个月的人，是一个很长的日子。无论如何，神是多么的爱我，让我在这一年的休假中遇见神。想起，有点怀念这悠长假期。

有时神让人经历苦难，是为让我们在苦难是将眼目注视在神。
这一年可谓是我行在低谷，是让我学会几样对我而言是很重要的功课。 
 
我想我可以分享这份经历,在我没有任何希望是，神的话语慢慢的安慰我那受伤的心灵。
开始时我没能领会到那份安慰。在教会一直鼓励我们draw near to Father's love...

在不知不觉中，神的话语在我的身上开始动工的。。。今天，我真的感谢阿爸天父对我的不理不弃。神的恩典够我用。

诗篇23篇
耶和华是我的牧者，我必不至缺乏。
他使我躺卧在青草地上，领我在可安歇的水边。
他使我的灵魂苏醒，为自己的名引导我走义路。
我虽然行过死荫的幽谷，也不怕遭害，因为你与我同在；
你的杖，你的竿，都安慰我。
在我敌人面前，你为我摆设筵席。
你用油膏了我的头，使我的福杯满溢。
我一生一世必有恩惠慈爱随著我，
我且要住在耶和华的殿中，直到永远！

圣灵是我的安慰者。在经历过神所给的安慰，我们希望可以安慰身边需要的人。 

Healing to my metabolism and weigh gain problem

During hiking to BJ hill, I don't feel good after realized my weight has increased another 1.3kg after few weeks.

Weight gain is something really trouble me along my teenage until now, and I was easy to gain weight. 

Along the way, I find it is very disturbing that I had weight gain, and I really don't want back to my previous fatty time. It make me don't feel good I have to change the size of my outfit every few months. In fact, I have regularly go for exercise but I still weight gain. I felt upset! But Holy Spirit reminded me on John 10:10 - The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Yah! I dont want to allow thief to steal my joy when I should enjoy my exercise moment. And shouldn't let this problem to continue effect my life. But this weight gain problem still bordering me. This time, Iam glad that I no longer blaming myself on this. Instead, Holy spirit reminded me turn to Lord. Well, what I need to do next? So I start talking to Lord. 

Then I realized this is another areas that Lord want to deal with me,and want to completely heal it. This areas is huge for me, and not something easy for me to concur my by myself. But, with Lord, all things all possible.
Again, this reminded me to bring this areas that I struggle to Lord, and the fear I have in my heart about getting weight gain.

First, I got to be honest, I had developed bad eating habit where Iam craving for sweet stuff ( chocolate , chocolate drink, carbonated drink) , having late dinner, take junk food before sleep...
Seriously, the bad habit of enjoying of eating junk food has to break. Lord, help me.

Second, take one step at a time. Do not expect the changes can be see result immediately. Put the right expectation toward myself, and continue to my exercise routine that I have already established. Keep it going & moving :) Iam doing great !

Third, I think my metabolism has to do with my weight gain. I trust my Lord is my God the Healer (Jehovah Rapha )will heal all my disease. Again, I want turn the areas I struggle to Lord for healing, and it is God's will to heal me.

In Psalms 103 : 3 - The Lord who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases. I proclaimed this promised upon my life, and speak healing to my body. 

Praised the Lord for He is my healer! And Iam healed. I declared the Lord has forgive all my sins, my bad decision and habits. It is Lord will to heal and make me whole.
I surrender the weight gain problem unto Lord, and Lord help me to focus to you in this matter. You care about me, You want me cast all my burden unto you, You loves me, and You want me enjoy myself and life.You have put the spirit of victory in my life, You have impart the spirit of overcomer in me. I need not struggle as when I pray, I submit it to Lord it prayer.

Dear heavenly father, you are an awesome God. I praise you and I worship you. How great you are. I thank you for all the blessings in my life. Thank you that you are with me, that you have promised never to leave me or forsake me. Lord, I ask your forgiveness for all the times that I have displeased you, particularly for the times when I have made bad choices regarding food and drink.

You have promised that if we confess our sins you are faithful to forgive them and I confess them now. I ask for healing throughout my body, from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. In the name of Jesus, I declared healing to my body, and break any spirit of fear.

Instead of rely on food to get comfort, Lord, shift my focus to you for comfort.

Specifically I ask that you heal my metabolism so that it will function perfectly as you created it to. I ask that it will be rebalanced, to control my body tissues and energy stores. 

I pray that my body will listen to my metabolic needs and will crave the right foods in the right proportions to enable it to function efficiently. 

I place myself in your hands. Thank you God, thank you that you care, thank you that you are there, and thank you for my healing. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

回顾一下2013 年的点点滴滴。。。

今天想写一些 year end 年末倒数，回顾一下2013 年的点点滴滴。。。

1。洗礼 ～ 信主已经有一段日子，但还没完完全全的委身。终于在三月在牧师的condo 泳池洗礼。心里知道我的灵里重生。。。跟自己讲这是一个过程，慢慢来，不要着急。
2. 辞职去 ～ 离开一个完全熟悉即又想离开的工作环境。在那，我逗留了人生中的 3 个小时，即是人生中的12.5% ，40 个 ( quarter end ) ，3650 个日子。。。
在那我学了很多，任识到很强的上司，逼自己进步，改变，如何变的强悍一点，果断一些，懂的如何Driving for result..
3. 享受悠长假期 去～ 150 个没有工作的日子 ～ 日子过的蛮快，在完全没有计划的前提下，日子就这样给消费在看书，读经，祷告，读经班，洗厕所，扫地，抹地，对努力爬山，上网看布落格。
4. 掉 10 公斤 ～ 自从体重飙上70++ 之后，一直觉的要瘦下来很难，机会很渺茫。在努力及坚持的运动，多余的10 公斤给减了，目前又增加了3 kg, 还要继续努力。

记录一下。
让这为自己的一个回忆，经历，作为人生学习的一个重要的功课。

如果将人生分为上下部，那我现在正进入人生的另一段里程碑。。。

2013 年这段路一点都不好走。人生起伏，得失很大的一年。
在这段日子，很多时候是自己一个人的内心挣扎，攒牛角尖，咀丧，在每件事上觉的自己力不从心。这样的心境让日子过得很累，不知未来如何。

总在小心翼翼，担心，恐惧，忧郁，犹豫的思考模式中自己与自己内在的魔鬼打筋斗。内在的蘑菇好像都变的越来越强大，将自己的信心也缩小了。在越没信心做每一件事情都越觉得很辛苦，越逼自己提劲，越不知所所为。努力的看书（什么正能量，激励，灵修的书籍，如何让自己变开心，如何这如何那。。东捉西捉也没真正的有些什么。

然而，昨天读经是有几段让我有很深的感动。
圣经有一段是这样讲，求神你纪念你对仆人所应许的话，叫我有盼望。我还担心什么呢？神对我们的应许是要让神的孩子在患难中，因此得安慰。2014 年你要学会多一信靠神，仰望神。。。记得神说心怀二意的人为我所恨。。不要在居所不定。神帮我转眼不看虚假，叫我活在神的道生活。

其实快乐也很抽象，不要被这世俗的关念给套这。不一定要达到什么的职位，名牌，能力，来越束，活着就很感谢神的恩典。

在后来，在后来，慢慢的跟自己讲。。快乐已经是现代人将它挂在嘴边的一个动作。Feeling Wonderful, Feeling happy, Feeling ... 都是一连卷 的 Happening. 如过没有了那些时光，人生就不再快乐了吗？

Written by end of Dec 2013

Presence of God

I want jot down what had happened yesterday night

~ Vivien ~
Really happy to celebrate the salary increment with Vivien, and she is really a straight forward person and share her salary slip with me, and I reluctant to view on how much of her increment, although i wish to know what is the market performance in term of salary adjustment. Well, its not matter the market performance, when Lord blessing upon her life, nothing is impossible for Lord. May the love and joy of the Lord overflow in her life. 

~ Worship ~ 
During the worship, I prayed in my heart that Lord, I truly want to encounter you. It sound like a wish, and again I reminded myself, not only want, but have strong desire. Well, how Lord know the degree of my heart's desire ? Bible said, Lord knows my heart, and I think Lord has power to testify our heart's desire, and this measure tool should have no limit. LOL ~ Lord ~ how deep is your love ? I pondered in my heart, I want experienced it everyday in my life.
Tear of joy overflow in my heart, even right now when I am writting, I dont know what has really touched my heart, the water flow out from my eye. 

~ Presence of God ~ 
The presence of the Lord is so strong when Pastor Cornelius preach. He even spoke that he really enjoyed his sermon. What a wonderful moment I had last night, and I want to tell him, Iam so enjoyed to hear what God has put in your heart to share with us.

Our Lord is the Lord who has eyes, ears, nose, mouth, hand to see, hear, talk, touch, feel you..all the senses worked amazingly for us to experience the presence of the Lord
I walked to front when Pastor open for altar call ~ The Blood of Jesus has cleanced all my sins and make me whole. I prayed in my heart that Lord, I want received  your love in my heart. When Pastor pray for me is exactly like God talking to my heart said : Yeah, I hear what you said, received my Love, received my Love ... althought within that period I dont felt any physical changes, but I believe something is happening in heavenly realm. God has poured out His love to me which overflow in the eye of the Lord

After I rested down, the tear start flowing without any reason without any feeling ...
When Pastor said You're not alone, this word touched my heart. Again, Lord want to tell me that Iam not alone. Yes, sometimes this loneliness is describable, even the companion do not able fill this loneliness in my heart. Until now, I am sure that this only can be filled by Lord Jesus, none of the people in this world would able to sastify me.

On the way when driving home, along the way Lord has filled my heart with joy and hope.
Really overflowing ~ Not something I can generate by myself, its a presence of Lord that I experienced. 

~ Summary of the sermon ~ Where is my final destiny for eternity ? 
Power of Love 
1. Walk in Love ~ reminder to me, not only love who love you, but open your heart to love someone who do not reserve. Demonstrate the Love of God.
2. Walk in image of Lord ~ As Iam workmanship of God
3. Walk in wisdom

Walk with action everyday ~ Practice the presence of Lord